Tuesday, 21 February 2017

The Problem With Remakes

So another day another remake is in the development this time it's a little known Asian horror film being remade 22 years after it's release by the son of the previous director. I won't name the project as to draw attention towards it and for one valid reason and that is it featured not a simulated rape scene in the original but an actual one. Yes the actress was led to believe she would be simulating a rape scene in the movie which would be clouded by darkness so none of her naked flesh bar her right hand would ever be seen. That second part was true but she was raped "for real" by her co star as the entire crew watched on.
I could write an entire article about this incident but as the claims of the actress were played down by authorities (one could imagine for financial reasons) I would be opening up a big can of "Sue The Scotsman" so I will instead look to other remakes that have either been made or in development.


A classic from the 1980s with a troubled production itself, Poltergeist was not so much a Texas Chainsaw Massacre style horror as it was a Jurassic Park style as in not actually scary but a fun popcorn movie. The remake which was released in 2015 was neither scary or fun instead it was a bore of a film which when sticking trying to stick to the elements that made the original exciting it failed miserably and where it tried to flip the script on the original it led us down plot holed hallways of who gives a fuck.

Friday The 13th

The original is considered a classic and it is featuring an intense performance by Betsy Palmer and an interesting dynamic of having a female killer this spun off a few good sequels, a few ok sequels and a few holy shit what where they thinking sequels. The remake wasn't so much a remake of the original as it was a remake of part 2 which led many to wonder if the filmmakers behind this piece of shit had actually seen it. Funnily enough they had and this was simply a cash grab from Sean Cunningham like Jason X or Freddy vs Jason. To paraphrase the Tweeted words of Donald Trump "this movie wasn't great, great, great it was bad, bad bad movie. Sad" 

Nightmaree On Elm Street

Just no, what the fuck were they smoking when they thought there was an actor alive that could replace Robert Englund in the lead role? The original Nightmare was a dark dream like fairy-tale this remake was a the kind of movie you go an see in a dark nightmare and wake up wanting to punch the director in the face.


I can't believe this film is even in development, WTF? This is a movie that reminds me of my childhood which is wrong on so many levels but right on a few too. If you've not seen Scanners something tells me you still won't like this remake when it arrives in 2018 or 2019 if it escapes development hell where it belongs.

SO in closing the point I'm trying to make is that remakes are cool and everything if they are done right. Remake a movie which had a great premise but was executed poorly like Maximum Overdrive (Stretch I know) Prometheus or Virus. Take these shit stains on the genre and make something incredible out of them instead of taking something excited and creating German porn with the source material. 

If you agree or disagree let me know in the comments below or on Twitter, Facebook or the Facebook group. 

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