Thursday, 21 September 2017

Tales Of The Damned: The Hounds Of Love By John Farman & Will Pickering

Written By John Farman & Art By Will Pickering

Rough Night Review By Steve 'Sandwich' Hanisch

Rough Night
Year: 2017
Directed By: Lucia Aniello
Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon, Zoë Kravitz, Jillian Bell and Ilana Glazer
Tagline: “Things go terribly wrong for a group of girlfriends who hire a male stripper for a bachelorette party in Miami.” RottenTomatoesScore: 46%
IMDbRating: 5.2/10

When a movie is tagged with the description of “the female Hangover” you’re immediately going to one of two places. One, that’s bullshit. Or two, wasn’t that Bridesmaids? Either way, take it easy with The Hangover references people. That was a perfect storm of a comedy movie, they couldn't even replicate the magic in two sequels and they made the original!

No, this is not even close to a ‘Female Hangover’, however it is not without its moments. It’s got a talented cast and Jillian Bell and Kate McKinnon are by far and away the funniest ones of the bunch. I love Broad City and Ilana Glazer is phenomenal in that show, but just didn’t shine through in this one. Zoë Kravitz, to me, is nothing more than a could-have-been rock star’s daughter. Scarlett Johansson does her best to hang, but the obvious nature of an A-list star in a genre that’s not usually in her wheelhouse was too great to overcome. See, John Cusack in Hot Tub Time Machine. Also, holy run-on-sentence Batman.

As I said, there were some funny gags and cool castings throughout the film. I’m happy with the R-rating, more comedies need to go that route these days. A lot of scenes just weren’t as funny as they could have been. I do not understand the casting of Zoë Kravitz and Scarlett Johansson. If they casted stand-ups or comedic personalities in those roles, this movie could have really shined through and chemistry could have actually worked and they could have cut together scenes that weren’t stagnant. I’ll never understand that. If you have a movie based around friends reuniting, perhaps you should have friends or at least acquaintances reunite. Not this mismatch of talent. The funniest scenes in the films were the other side of the coin with the men’s “bachelor party” starring Paul W. Downs along with some very funny dudes. The problem with this movie, well one of the, is their B-storyline was funnier than their main storyline. That’s an issue. Eric Andre and the other bachelor’s created a great atmosphere and change-up to the mains storyline and that’s what you’re supposed to have happen. It’s a great joke and one of the few that work to its full potential. Actually, maybe the only joke that works to its full potential. Unfortunately. There are funny moments and if you got in expecting nothing, you’ll get a little something in return. But expect literally nothing.

I’d have to agree with Rotten Tomatoes on this one, although I’m surprised at the rating. I agree more with the tag than the actual percentage of forty-six, “Rough Night’s gifted stars are certainly good for some laughs, but their talents aren't properly utilized in a scattered comedy that suffers from too many missed opportunities.” #Preach

Review and General Shenanigans Written By: Steve “Sandwich” Hanisch

LastWord “Stop being a stupid fucking cunt and do a little cocaine!” - Rough Night talking directly to Sandwich

Monday, 11 September 2017

Logan Review By Steve 'Sandwich' Hanisch

Year: 2017
Directed By:​ ​James Mangold
Starring:​ ​Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen, Boyd Holbrook and Stephen Merchant
Tagline: “In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X, somewhere on the Mexican border. However, Logan's attempts to hide from the world, and his legacy, are upended when a young mutant arrives, pursued by dark forces.” Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
IMDb Rating: 8.2/10

This is the Wolverine movie the world needed. The movie I needed. From the opening scene, they may as well have said, “This ain’t your daddy’s Wolverine movie”. Fuck genre conventions, fuck standard PG-13 ratings for superhero films, fuck tidy-looking heroes and exalt the anti-heroes, Logan is the cream of the crop film Hugh Jackman and James Mangold wanted and needed to make to be able to leave this character behind with no stone unturned and no bit of movie effort left untouched and unscathed.
The first time you see Logan, he’s muttering “fuck” under his breath. Not two minutes later he’s decapitating some cholos and slicing their legs off. This for sure is the Wolverine movie the world needed. It’s dark, it’s gritty, it’s violent, it’s heart-warming, it’s cold, it’s heartfelt, it’s bloody, it’s sad, it’s depressing, it’s genre-defying and genre-creating. It’s perfect. It rewrote what “superhero” films should be. They should be based in reality with storylines and real emotions with some underlying mythos. Not the formulaic Marvel films now that are all PG-13 and colorful and cheerful. That’s just unrealistic and unrelatable. Logan is the anti-superhero film. It’s not even my favorite X-Men movie, because it doesn’t classify as an X-Men movie. If you want to get technical, it exists in that universe but it’s an offshoot of the Old Man Logan comics and quite frankly, I’m not even talking about that. I’m saying, Hugh Jackman wanted to make one more Wolverine movie. May as well make it the best one yet. It took many years, but we finally have the formula for what a Mutant/Superhero film should be. And Logan is i-t it.
When Marvel writes in character “flaws” it’s one thing. It’s one thing that gets exploited to make the superheroes human. It’s still incredibly unrealistic and unrelatable, hence the empty feeling you’re left with when you’re done watching those films. In Logan, he’s getting poisoned by his adamantium skeleton, he still hates everyone and loves no one until he’s forced to. Oh, and he’s suicidal too. Every character has multiple human flaws and that only aides the film forward and allows you to dive into the characters and they dive into each other.
There’s nothing I hate about this film. From the casting to the story to the visuals and easter eggs, this is a great movie for fans of the character and the X-Men comics. Couldn’t agree more with Rotten Tomatoes this time around, “Hugh Jackman makes the most of his final outing as Wolverine with a gritty, nuanced performance in a violent but surprisingly thoughtful superhero action film that defies genre conventions.” I’ll add on to that, makes the genre conventions what it should be. Fuck that, making a genre. Call it FuckMarvelFuckDCLetsJustMakeAGreatMovie. That works. Could work as a hashtag too. #FuckMarvelFuckDCLetsJustMakeAGreatMovie. What do you mean I don’t know anything about social media?
In short, if you haven’t seen Logan, I would highly recommend you do so. If you don’t want to see Logan, then go fuck yourself, I have nothing to say to the likes of you. Other than the things that have already been said, of course.

Review​ ​and​ ​General​ ​Shenanigans​ ​Written​ ​By​: Steve “Sandwich” Hanisch
Last​ ​Word  “I did something. Something unspeakable. I've remembered what happened in Westchester. This is not the first time I've hurt people. Until today, I didn't know. You wouldn't tell me. So we just kept on running away from it. I think I finally understand you.” - Charles Xavier, Logan (2017)