Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Mind Garden WORDS Trailer 2018

This is the first trailer for my documentary entitled "Mind Garden." The documentary is on the subject of social anxiety and depression, two conditions I personally deal with, and in this doc I along with some fellow sufferers talk candidly about what we go through on a regular day-to-day basis. 

This is a passion project for me so I hope you will all share the trailer out over social media. If this reaches just one person and lets them know they are not the only person going through something like this and that there is help out there then it has done more than I could have ever dreamed. 


Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Would You Rather Film Review By Steve 'Sandwich' Hanisch

Would You Rather? 
Year: 2012 
Directed By: David Guy Levy 
Written By: Steffen Schlachtenhaufen 
Starring: Brittany Snow, Jeffrey Combs, Jonny Coyne, Lawrence Gilliard Jr., Enver Gjokaj, Sasha Grey, John Heard, Charlie Hofheimer, Eddie Steeples, June Squibb, Robin Lord Taylor, Robb Wells, Logan Miller 
Tagline: “Desperate to help her ailing brother, a young woman unknowingly agrees to compete in a deadly game of "Would You Rather," hosted by a sadistic aristocrat.” 
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 57% 
IMDb Rating: 5.8/10 

          Would you rather...watch a good film or another shitty horror flick? Well. You know what I chose! Why? Why do you do this to yourself, Sandwich? Are you a masochist? Like to be punished, do we? I choose to think of it more like my inner self is a child that hasn’t grown up and get pulled in to premises that sparkle and make me go “oooOoOOoooooo”. This is another one of those movies. 
          In all honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. More like it didn’t live up to potential. Which, there are worse things. Like scabies. The violence never hit a peak, the challenges were fun, but again, maybe the acting had a part to play but it never had the majesty of say And Then There Were None. There was no mystery surrounding this, not enough of a set-up, a lot of unanswered plot holes, etc. There was one major location the film took place, maybe if they spread it out more and became a little more clever with their challenges and set pieces it would have been more inviting. It was absolutely dirt cheap to make so I’d be shocked if there weren’t more of these movies. Like even if this is considered a flop and a bomb. I say “if” because it’s not even good enough to register on Box Office Mojo. Fuck it, I’ll make the sequel. 
          I wish they had a better actor more fitting for the billionaire that sets all this up, the performance was a little too hokey for me. Like, if you’re having people cut their fucking eyes, what are you sitting there giggling for? Not enough darkness for such a dark premise. I would do all those challenges for Brittany Snow though. But who wouldn't? There’s no nudity so don’t even get excited. My big point here is it never felt scary, you never felt trapped, it never seemed like stomach-churning situational horror, which it is absolutely set up to be. Or, even, check this out. Why do teenagers play Truth or Dare at parties? Why play Would You Rather at parties? Never Have I Ever, etc. By the way, just named all the sequels to this movie. Because there’s an inherent tease of sexuality in the air! Whether booze are involved or not, every one of these games, whether it’s just talking about it or not, teases you and stimulates! They didn’t even think to include anything like that! Like I’m not saying it should be a fuckfest on the dining room table, but you have what, two very hot women in the film? Venture down boner boulevard a little bit. If for nothing else, the stark contrast in such a horrific situation will only add to the creepy atmosphere of the millionaire host. Just saying. Anyway. 
          There are worse ways to spend an hour and a half of your life, but if you like these quirky, violent little horror flicks, it’s not terrible. Let’s see what Rotten Tomatoes has to say, “Though restrained by most torture porn standards, Would You Rather? brilliant premise is ultimately harmed by its tendency towards blood and guts.” I mean, I can see that. I wanted more of an atmosphere than this pretty bland performance. I’m pretty sold with both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes ratings. The overall feeling on this is it just flopped on what is a cool premise. But it’s not Crusaders of the Last Shark bad. Not even close. So there’s that. It’s the little things. 

General ​Shenanigans, Buffoonery, High-Jinks & Tomfoolery Written​ ​By: Steve “Sandwich” Hanisch 

Last​ ​Word  “When all of you were deciding whether or not to accept our invitation to play the game, you were, in essence, making a choice between the known and the unknown.” - Sandwich chortled to himself whilst deciding between beer or tequila.

Friday, 26 January 2018

Terror Haver Episode 1

On this special crossover of the Haver and the Terror Firma podcast I am joined as always by my two crazy as hell partners in crime as we answer your ludicrous questions the best we can and ... you know... talk our usual load of shite along the way. No one is safe where horror meets offensive comedy.... welcome to TERROR HAVER EPISODE 1 

Here are the links to both the video and audio versions of the episode. If you enjoy th show please subscribe to the podcast and YouTube channel and show some love by sharing these links. Also if you interested in purchasing any of the items below you will help the shw out greatly by clicking through the links and making the corporate fucks over at Amazon UK send some pennies our way. Cheers and don't lose your smile even when you are screaming!!!

Friday, 19 January 2018

Terror Firma Store Products

We are happy to announce that these T-Shirts are on sale now over at the Terror Firma Store.

purchases in the store go to helping to keep the lights on 
and the network and website going so you get to both buy
a cool shirt and keep this mad house in business :-) 

Prose & Cons Episode 3 With Die Hard 2 & Bad Boys Writer Doug Richardson

Joining Drew on this episode of Prose & Cons is Hollywood screenwriting royalty in the form of Hostage, Die Hard 2, Money Train & Bad Boys writer Doug Richardson.

Doug is no stranger to recording shows with Drew as they have previously recorded a very controversial live stream which had an "abrupt" ending. Did they get as controversial in this episode? You will have to listen to find out.

Join Doug & Drew as they discuss the craft of screenwriting.